ED, that Nasty Fellow

We all know that ED is a jerk.  I mean, there’s no question.  But sometimes, he’s not just a jerk, he’s downright mean.  Nasty.  Firing his darts where they’ll hurt the most.  Oh, and if you’re already feeling upset or nervous about something, you know what ED does?  He zeros in on that spot and sends a barrage of his meanest, nastiest darts.

See, I told you he’s mean.

Gaining weight isn’t easy.  Aside from just physically eating more, there’s all kinds of emotions that go along with it.  Anxiety is a significant one that I deal with.

When anxiety was great within me,
 your consolation brought me joy.

Psalm 94:19

Worry piles atop worry, and sometimes, the weight is just enormous (no pun intended).  For me, it usually ends up with a tummy ache and me feeling just…blah. I think and think and think about whatever the flavor-of-the-day is, and then ED fires a new dart, adding some other worry to my already worried mind.  It’s like a snowball.  Or a ripple.  Basically, picture anything that builds upon itself and you’ll get the drift.

Today, I’m worried about clothes.  Specifically, how they fit and how they will fit in the weeks to come.  Since returning from San Diego, if I’m not wearing my lovely KOA work shirt, I’m most likely wearing a sweatshirt.  They’re loose and comfy – and warm.  And they’re all I’ve wanted to wear because I don’t really have to worry when I wear them.

And I’m afraid to try much else.

You know what ED said to me yesterday?  He said “So, what are you gonna do if you wear a nice outfit on Sunday, and then you try to wear the same one the next week and it doesn’t fit?”  My stomach clenched and I got scared.  And I haven’t been able to shake the worry.

But I know it’s ED – my mom reminded me – and I know he’s a liar.  His aim is to discourage me as best as possible.

Guess what.  I don’t have to fight ED alone.  Not only do I have a wonderful support system who prays for me and encourages me, I have a Heavenly Father who comes to rescue me when I call out (Psalm 18:8-15).  And he sympathizes and understands whatever I’m dealing with (Hebrews 4:15-16).  I can feel the anxiety melting a bit already.

Let me leave you with this:

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7

All of your anxiety.  All of my anxiety.




8 thoughts on “ED, that Nasty Fellow

  1. See those ‘tight fitting” clothes as a badge of success. Have you spoken to anyone who has given you an idea about a healthy dress size, etc? Maybe getting some larger things that are WOWSERS and then growing into them is an idea.

    • I definitely want to see “tight fitting” clothes that way! It’s been suggested to me that I find a pair of jeans I like, then buy the next size up so I don’t have to worry about it when the time comes. But I do like the idea of buying something to “grow in to”. Thanks 🙂

  2. hugs and prayers. I have the a similar but almost opposite, but not really situation. I was diagnosed with diabetes 5 yrs ago. I am scared to pieces of dying inch by inch. first the toes then to the ankle then the leg, kidneys, eyes heart. I lost 60# still not where I want to be but my dr doesnt want me to lose more because of my age. 😦 or 🙂 however you want to look at it LOL. Now I am frightened I will gain it back. Weigh myself daily and berate myself for a 2# gain. So I will pray for you and ask you pray for me. Weight isnt supposed to hold this much weight (pun) with any of us! :)) you go girl!

    • Oh man! I agree – weight shouldn’t be such an issue…we need to just enjoy life! Thank you for your sweet encouragement 🙂 You’re in my prayers!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s