Well good evening! Do you like the slight change to the design of the blog? It was time for a little shake-up 🙂
Speaking of shake-ups…have you ever noticed that after you’ve dealt with something challenging and are starting to come out of it, something happens which tempts you to go back to the habits etc of the initial challenge? It catches you off guard – you thought you were past this. You were moving forward, right? Things were going so well! And you felt pretty great.
Oh what timing.
So what on earth am I talking about? If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I’ve had some eating disorder struggles recently. They’re often made worse by stress, and consequently, struggling to eat enough makes stress harder to manage. It’s really a vicious cycle.
There are less than three weeks left in this semester. This is SO exciting, yet quite scary – there’s much to be done in the next little chunk of time. Homework and deadlines tend to hit all at once. And then, other responsibilities arise. And then I get tired. And I want to write blog posts instead of doing homework (oops…) and I want to relax and go to bed and read books for fun. But homework and responsibilities stare me in the face.
And the stress level begins to rise.
And my tummy doesn’t feel as hungry, and the food I eat doesn’t sit as well. I feel nauseous or dizzy for a moment. My shoulders tense up, and I know it’s time to go for a walk…and call my mom 🙂
Oh, and there’s the issue of “Hmmm, I ate very differently this weekend, and I feel kind of chunky right now.” Or “My tummy is churning, and I just need to eat something gentle.” Basically, ED tries to barge back in when my stress is high and my defenses are weak.
So I have to double my efforts. And lean on my support system a little more. But I also have to listen to my body. My tummy says “Please be gentle, I’m still getting over my shock” and ED says “Yeah, eat something light…sheesh!” So I choose to be gentle while still nourishing my body adequately.
And I put my foot down on Satan’s attempts to make everything more difficult. He certainly knows that by the grace of God, I’ve been more successful with tuning out ED’s nasty voice. So Satan grabs the megaphone and starts yelling. When I’m most vulnerable in my stresses, Satan “…tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within.”
BUT. “Upward I look and see Him there, who made an end of all my sin.”
As soon as I call out to my Heavenly Father, he parts the heavens to come rescue me from my enemy (Psalm 18). As Revelation 12:10 says, “…the accuser of our comrades has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.”
Satan is powerful, but God is more powerful.
And here’s what I say to ED – to the enemy:
“Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today.”
I don’t know what God is doing, but this I know: He certainly does.
Thanks be to God.
P.S. More weekend shenanigans coming soon!