Well hello! I hope you’re all having a lovely and excellent weekend!
Yesterday, I was blessed to be able to visit with my aunt and uncle (who live nearby) for a bit. They picked me up at the ferry (I walked on…SO much less pricey than driving!) and we headed to Langley to find some lunch. We went to a new pub called Mo’s, and enjoyed some tasty food and good conversation.
It was cold and rainy and I REALLY wanted soup and salad…but the soup of the day didn’t sound too good to me (Cheddar Poblano?) so I went for the next logical choice: a “side” of mac n’ cheese and salad. And the “side”… was as big as my face (but a good price for the serving, that’s for sure!). The mac n’ cheese was topped with parmesan and paprika. The sauce was creamy, salty, warm, gooey…pure comfort food. But the problem with it was that the sauce was creamy, salty, warm, gooey…and a huge portion. I nearly panicked for a moment when they put the plate down in front of me. We joked about the size and I shared a few bites with my Aunt. But I knew that I wouldn’t be able to eat all of it even if I didn’t feel too full. Oh, but it was so tasty!
When I reached a point where I felt satisfied, I decided to put my fork down and ask for a box. And then we had dessert. But at least we split it 🙂
I knew dinner would be a struggle, though. I felt like I had completely indulged and that whatever else I put in my mouth for the rest of the day would be too much. But. At the same time, there was this voice that kept reminding me about how much calcium I just gave my body. That eating a meal like that sometimes is okay and ultimately, I just did a good thing for my body by feeding it (and feeding it what sounded good, no less!) And the origin of that voice just didn’t want to agonize over my lunch for the rest of the day.
So as I thought about dinner, I wanted something that would be healthy – of course, salad was the first thing that came to mind. But rather than rejecting the notion, I decided to work with it, and in a sense, to compromise with myself. And this was born:
Yes, it’s a salad. No, it may not have had a TON of calories involved. BUT it did have: lettuce (with carrots and cabbage), tomato, and asparagus. And then there was tuna, beans, hard-boiled egg, shredded cheese and a dollop of cottage cheese. With an oil and vinegar dressing. And toast on the side. Sounds like a pretty solid salad to me!
It tasted good. It made me feel good. It was nutritious, yet light. Choc full of vitamins and protein, to boot!
And I ate every bit of it. And I count it a success. Oh, and I had some snackage later, too 🙂
It was dinner-time, and I didn’t let that nasty Eating Disorder voice win.
I just had this thought: The Eating Disorder voice is mean and controlling and demanding. I could counter it in the same manner, but that feels too much like…well, like war. And if my goal is to make food (peace) rather than body war, it seems like compromising and being gentle is the way to go. Hmmm…I’m gonna have to explore this more! And I’d love your input!!
I’ll leave you with this today:
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Take care, friends!
** If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, please, PLEASE seek professional help. A great resource to get started is the National Eating Disorders Association.
** If you’re interested in reading some great pro-recovery blogs, here are a couple of my favorites: