Unbelievable. Today marks the two-year anniversary of perhaps one of the most life-changing moments to date.
Two years ago today, I received the diagnosis of anorexia.
Two years ago today, I spent two days in the hospital, undergoing tests and exams. All pride was removed. Or shall I say ripped down.
Two years ago today, my life, under God’s sovereignty, was placed on a path different than I would have ever imagined, one that I never would have chosen.
And as crazy as it sounds, it’s been a blessing.
I’ve had the opportunity to meet people and develop close(r) relationships with people that probably wouldn’t have occurred, had my life not taken this unexpected turn. And I look forward to meeting more people and developing even closer relationships.
I’ve gained understanding of people. I can empathize and sympathize better than before. When a young and nervous girl tells me that she “doesn’t like eating”, I know what she’s really saying.
Thanks to counseling sessions, mentoring sessions, and more opportunities to have deep conversations with lots of people, I’ve been able to get to know myself better. Ask myself the hard questions. Figure out what I really believe and think and feel. Make some decisions.
I’ve worked harder and dug deeper than I ever have before. And guess what? I had no choice but to rely upon and trust in God more deeply. And if that was the only reason I could state as a blessing, it would be good enough.
See, I don’t believe that God does anything by accident, or “just because”, or because he likes to see us squirm. God is love, and putting us through difficult times just for the sake of doing it doesn’t seem like a loving characteristic. I do believe, however, that God allows challenging things into our lives in order to grow us; to refine us and grow us. Growth is change, and change is temporarily uncomfortable at the least…downright painful at the most.
So this is my reflection today – remembering where I began, and celebrating where I am. There is still recovery work to be done, but so much has been accomplished.
I’ve learned that He makes beautiful things out of dust.