At about 9:00 every night, I hit a wall in which I can no longer do homework. I could read something ten times but I still won’t retain or comprehend it. I used to push through it until I realized that although perhaps valiant, my lack of comprehension makes it rather pointless. So instead of studying for my Biology lab final (eeek!) I’m writing to you! 🙂
I suppose the title of this post is quite confusing. Aside from the Sunday School answer of “sinful appetites”, what appetite could be considered fearsome? If you’re new to my blog, I’m recovering from anorexia (take a moment to read my about page). I feel like I’m doing better, but I still have an instinct to restrict my eating, and an overall fear of eating “too much”. So when I have a bigger appetite than usual, it’s kinda scary. What’s gonna happen? Will my jeans fit tomorrow? And why am I so hungry? These types of questions fill my mind.
“You shouldn’t eat that.”
“You don’t need that.”
“You don’t need anymore to eat.”
“See, your tummy is already rounder.”
Phrases like that are fired at my mind with the one goal of tearing down my defense system. I used to listen; used to let it completely rule me, obeying that voice without a question or a second thought. It must be true. Right?
But then I realized this voice was full of it. A lying Enemy. This realization didn’t occur overnight…it took time and a lot of trusted people telling me over and over. And they still have to tell me sometimes – to remind me that these words whispered in my heart are indeed lies. But I fight back. I find something to eat. And I eat something else if I’m still hungry.
And then I remind myself of a few things:
My fight isn’t against flesh and blood, but against powers of the dark world (Ephesians 6:12)
If I turn my head to the right or the left, I’ll hear a voice reminding me of the path to walk (Isaiah 30:21)
Satan comes to kill and destroy, but Jesus came to give abundant life (John 10:10)
Satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14)
The Lord rescues me from my enemies when I call to Him (Psalm 18:16-19)
In the same way God gave us tasty food to be enjoyed, He gave us an appetite to desire these food-gifts. And therefore, an appetite isn’t something to be feared 🙂
Snack time? Perhaps!